The Muppets released a new album with many of my all-time favorite songs so it goes without saying that our car plays a continuous loop of said songs…for my kids enjoyment, of course.
For example, “Movin’ right along in search of good times and good news. With good friends you can’t lose, this could become a habit. Opportunity knocks, let’s reach out and grab it, together we’ll nab it…Movin’ right along – footloose and fancy free.”
And movin’ right along we are, after next week – we are half way there.
Good times: check!
Chicago was amazing even if too quick. Nicole was exquisite, the wedding amazing and the time with family wonderful. I can’t imagine not having been there. This weekend is Disney. I suppose I could have just stayed home and rested and waited it all out, but when Jason and Robbie decided to go with the Maccabee group to Orlando’s Blizzard Beach and Danny cried and looked to me, it seemed like the obvious choice to say, yup – we are going too! We are going to “snack around the place,” at his favorite Epcot while the big boys do their thing. After-all, life is for the feisty, and I am nothing if not feisty so – count me in smush! Please understand, I am not being reckless, rather I am being careful and deliberate. For 8 days, I can barely lift my head, for the next week I try and play catch up pretending to feel better than I actually do because my sons need a mom and by the 3rd week, I’m preparing for the next cycle. In between, I can’t work, concentrate, or do much else. So when I get good, no great, days – I take advantage!
I choose to live my life on my own terms as opposed to letting cancer control it. That means that when my doctor and counts permit, I’m going where I want, when I want, and I’m gonna smile while doing it, even if I look like a puffy bloated bald alien mess. Tonight we danced on a bridge with the kids and one of their best friends as if we weren’t sharing the space with many thousands of others. It felt pretty darn wonderful.
Good news: check!
Had my first “3 month check up” with cancer surgeon, and everything is good. I am so blessed to be in the care of these women. A veritable dream team of beautiful talented amazing women, Dr. Wang, Dr. Marshall, Dr. Giron, and my friend Dr. Rosenbaum. I had a very long and honest discussion with Dr. Giron about the past 3 months and my future. I went to the appointment deliberately alone and I asked some extremely difficult, frank, and scary questions. There are no guarantees…for me or anyone, but I’m told I should spend more time worrying about the other drivers on I-95 than losing my life to breast cancer. Cancer is not a single disease. For that matter, breast cancer is not a single disease. The 1 in 8 number is horrifying enough. Ladies, go out to dinner for a girls night, and count it off – one of you at the table is drawing short stick. It is not a happy statistic, but the kinds are not all alike. And early detection and aggressive treatment can make a difference. A cure is possible. I had a conversation with someone soon after I was diagnosed and I remarked that I was still hopeful that I wouldn’t need chemo. Her reaction left a permanent mark on me, she said, chemo is your friend. Don’t fear or fight it. I didn’t understand then, but I do now. As difficult as this all is, I’m proud of our decisions. I’ll take my pillow and live on the bathroom floor for as many days as necessary. My goal is the permanent cure – I will settle for nothing less. So, my dear friend chemo, let’s spend the week together. You do your thing…and I’ll keep doing mine.
I think, maybe, I need to write a book called “This Is Not Your Father’s Cancer”…or perhaps something wittier and with a happier ending, but you get the point. Some people believe there is no cure for breast cancer. I believe my doctors when they tell me that “my kind,” “my situation,” “my diagnosis” is. I will never understand my G-d chose me and my family to walk this wretched path (I would have volunteered to champion the cause with far less trauma and stress), but I think I’ve decided that the part I need to advance is long-term survivorship. Survivorship is the part where you figure out what comes next – after the horror, where you learn to live with the reality that you’ve had cancer, that you live in fear that you might tangle with cancer again in the future, but that you need to move forward with your life in the most healthy yet realistic manner possible.
So go ahead, drink the cool aid with me. C-U-R-E – my 4th favorite of the 4-letter words behind only l-o-v-e, s-o-n-s and l-i-fe (by the way, shit, damn, and fuck are a close 5th, 6th, and 7th – and rather cathartic to walk around screaming at times, even for a potty mouth like me).
In other good news, the school year is off to a fantastic start with both kids having hit the teacher lottery jackpot. We are so grateful to them for being so wonderful to our children…with just the right balance between nurturing and butt-kicking and so proud of how both boys settled into their new routines and are being the little mensch’s they always are… They seem to remain largely unaffected by what is going on around them and appear as joyous as always. I wish for them to keep that childhood innocence for a lot longer – it is beautiful.
Good friends: check! check!
You continue to amaze me. You call, run errands, get on planes to help, feed us, and make sure that our children are in all the right places at all the right times. We are so incredibly grateful for all you have done and continue to do. I need to live another 50 or so years, because that is about how long it will take to repay your kindness and to pay it forward. Even your messages here in the guestbook – you could never know how great they make us feel. We save them and read them at chemo – you all rock. We print every single one for the boys to read one day. We are blessed to have you all and we know it!
Opportunity is knocking: Open the door!!
Jason’s law firm honored me by forming a team to participate in the upcoming Komen Race for a Cure! Wow! How lovely!! I hope you will join us in not only fighting for MY future, but for all the mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, and friends who stare that unbearable 1 in 8 lifetime risk statistic in face. Whether fighting for a clean beautiful earth that we can safely inhabit or fighting for my own life – I haven’t lost my optimism and acute awareness that we each have the power to make a difference…if we are brave enough to try. The contributions in our honor have touched us so deeply. Thank you with all our hearts. So come out and walk, play, laugh, and/or contribute to a future without cancer for us all.
This is the link:
Click on “Join An Existing Team”
The team name is: Ver Ploeg & Lumpkin, P.A.
The team type is: family and friends
So that’s it for last week – it was a great one. This week – not so much. But half is half and we are doing OK!
Much love,
jodi alison
No Purpose Flowers & The Great Loves of My Life! 